Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
