Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
