Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
