my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
