Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
