I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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