the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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