just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so much tequila, so little girl.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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