turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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