Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
