i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
