Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
