Are we in a gay sports bar?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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