Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
