Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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