i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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