Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
