when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
