I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize