i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
