am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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