they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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