i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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