Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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