Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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