McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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