So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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