is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
