Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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