Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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