That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
