Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i out mim tonsoeep
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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