Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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