He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
