I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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