i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
