Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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