He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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