fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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