omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
