he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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