I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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