i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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