you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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