I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
