There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Alive.
So much puke
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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