I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize