Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
