Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We are all done wearing pants today
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
