Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
