Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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