She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
