Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
