My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
