He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
