If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
