if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
