Is it because I queefed?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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