no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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