She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
