I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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