oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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